Archive for the ‘opining’ Category

and…?

I was going to say it’s been years since I wrote in here and treat it like hyperbole, but that would be wrong.  It has been years.  And years. Time to get back to writing.  I don’t know about you, but I need structure.  When left to my own devices I can waste time better than anybody.  Don’t argue with me on this.  Despite the fact I don’t play video games or solitaire, my ability to waste time is epic, baby.  Epic.

How?  In what ways am I capable of wasting time? Shall we start back in 1983 when I spent every waking moment thinking only of Duran Duran?  Sitting in my room and listening to their records while putting together giant scrapbooks of their pictures? Hours and hours and hours LOST. Hundreds, possibly thousands of dollars wasted on imported magazines and records and books…. I could have volunteered at an animal shelter, took Spanish lessons, practiced violin.  I could have learned a trade!  But no, I pissed the time away on bullshit.

Has anything really changed since then?  Sadly, not really.  I’m a chronic time waster.  What’s worse is that I endlessly kick myself about it.  Who is judging me on this besides me? Is it okay to waste time as long as you enjoy it?  An entire day can easily slip past me if I get on a cat video kick, which leads to other fun videos and other fun videos.  And I’ve been known to spend entire days reading and napping off and on getting up only to get a drink or go potty.  I shouldn’t be angry at myself about this.  Everyone deserves a day off that’s really a day off.

That said, I’d like to get off this uncharted desert of time on my hands.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be someone who actually HAS time to waste if I want.  I don’t have children and that’s one of the reasons.  But I’d like to get back some of my good habits.  Like writing.

It starts here.  I have many lists to write and diatribes to go off on and updates to make.    After all, it has been years. 

hot hot (horrible) heat

Blech summer heat.  Here are a few reasons I don’t care for it.

I work downtown and when it’s hot and humid smells are amplified, especially the offensive ones.  I took a short walk late this afternoon to find a bag of plain Sun Chips, to no avail, alas, and the air outside was ripe with the smell of urine (human and horse), cloying colognes that ought to be reserved for winter, and exhaust from delivery trucks.  Delightful!

All day the sidewalks and buildings had been soaking up sunlight and radiated the heat back at me like a giant’s nasty, dirty breath.  I became claustrophobic and even a bit of breeze (can one honestly call it a breeze?) did nothing to mitigate the feeling.

In the last few years I’ve evolved (devolved?) into a person who can drip sweat standing still.  A rule I’ve adopted is ‘do not run for the subway’.  Never mind that I’m usually running a little late and perhaps catching that train would have gotten me to work on time, I won’t run for it.  I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve had the sweat trickle down my back, through the crack of my ass, and even down the back of my legs; it’s nasty and I feel disgusting.  The only time I want to sweat with that much abandon is when I’m working out.  Maybe it started when I broke my foot last year and gained all this extra weight, I don’t know.  What I do know is ME NO LIKEY.

Add to the above factors the bright-ass sunlight devoid of clouds and shade making me feel like someone is pushing down on me.  It’s a full body assault, a pummeling by the elements.  Sunglasses only do so much and at the times of day I’m usually out, light will find a way to get in through the gap at the top.  A visor would help, certainly, but I just can’t be bothered.  And any sunglasses I wear eventually make my face sweat.

Lastly, but certainly not leastly (ha ha), I’ve never heard of a person dying from exposure to cold in the city.  Nor in the suburbs or rural areas for that matter.  Why?  Because it takes a LOT of cold (as in a severe-ass dip in the temp) to kill a person, but heat and humidity can do the job like that <snap>.   On NPR they were announcing where the “Cooling Centers” in the city were because many don’t have a/c or access to it, therefore they need a place to go to chill, literally. I hear of people attempting to mow their lawns in the middle of the afternoon on a day like today, 90’s and sunny and humid, who drop dead doing it.  How many die shoveling their sidewalks and driveways of snow?  Not many, I’d wager.  They may pull a muscle or have to deal with crippling back pain for the rest of their lives, but it won’t kill them.

And there we are.

blurg!

I’m definitely not as hip or “with it” as I’d like to be.  Been trying for a while now to update the look of this blog, to upload a new “theme” and I seem to be completely incapable.  It’s driving me nuts!   What is wrong with me that I can’t do this?  I’ve chosen the theme I’d like to use and I “downloaded” it, but the instructions say to upload the theme.  Where?  Where do I do this?

Jeebus I’m frustrated.

word annoyances + loves

Some improper word-use annoyances:

You don’t wet your appetite, you whet it.

No one can wind their way to work, you wend your way.

The further I see into the future, the farther my stomach sticks out, not the other way ’round.

Flesh out a rough or “skeletal” idea, not flush it out.  Flush it and you lose it.

Impact - we’ve gone there before, I’ll let it go for now.

Yeah, yay and yea.  - Yeah is casual agreement, yay is an expression of happiness, and yea means yes, as in the opposite of nay.  These get confused even more than there, their and they’re if you ask me.

A few phrases I’m currently sick to death of:

“It is what it is.”

“Long story short…”

“At the end of the day, …”

“… and whatnot”

“it was literally mind-blowing” - or “literally [fill in the blank] because they meant “figuratively” and I want to kill when I hear this.

“Whatever, I’m over it.”  Clearly you aren’t if you’re bringing it up.

“Ah-ha moment”  Do I need to explain?

A few phrases I will never tire of:

“Here’s what really sticks in my craw”

“Wanna hear something funny?”

“Come look at these adorable kitty cats!”

Some words I love:     ostensibly, sycophant, slapdash, ubiquitous, lucid/cogent, visceral, exacerbate, schadenfraude, obsequious, jackass, mothertrucker (which I learned from the edited-for-TV version of The 40 Year-Old Virgin.  Cracks me up every single time), honky-tonk.