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I realized something when I watched the NBA Playoffs at Red Bones - I love gum with my wine.  Specifically I love Orbit’s maui mango mint gum or Trident’s sweet mint gum with most red wine.

Chris and I were on our first real “date.”  We’d just eaten (delicious!!! OMG) hotdogs at Spike’s and as we walked over to Red Bones we each popped a piece of the maui mango mint.  Once inside I ordered a red wine and a water, as is my wont, and I remember thinking, oh hell, I just put gum in my mouth.  Well, let’s see how it goes, I mean, it’s not super minty.  Whaddaya know?  I liked it.

Then I thought, this is probably slightly abnormal.  Most people would probably find the tastes I was savoring to be disgusting.  Yes, I’m a bona fide candy addict; I love sweets beyond what most people can take, but I began to wonder what other things I liked that others might consider weird.   Since I love lists, here’s what I’ve come up with so far.

• drinking my morning coffee immediately after I’ve brushed my teeth
• eggs (scrambled or an omelet) with Miracle Whip (mix it right in before cooking)
• Krispy Kreme glazed doughnuts + cheap beer = crazy delicious
• the eye massage feel of someone else putting eyeshadow on me - so nice
• watermelon (I’ve come across many, many watermelon haters.  I’m a southern girl who could eat two whole watermelons in one sitting with no trouble t’all, I love love love it.)
• using my bedside rug to scratch the heel of my foot when it itches
• cloudy days (over cloudless sunny days)
• the smell of scotch tape and fedex labels
• french fries with mayonnaise and burgers w/a mix of mayo and ketchup
• flossing

I can’t think of anything else right now.  Maybe next time I’ll try a list of things of little things that really drive me bananas.  Then again, I don’t want to give my readers any ideas of ways to annoy me.

Certainly I am among the many who don’t quite understand spam.  What is the point?  Are we supposed to get this email from someone we don’t know and click on an inserted link that will automatically download a virus that will eat our computer from the inside out?  And if so, what’s the point?  Why would anyone want to randomly destroy other people’s computers, just to say they were able to do so?

I suppose in a specific way I’m asking the broad question, why does evil exist?, so I will back off of that one.

I may be a real layman about IT, but as an end-user I’m not stupid enough to open any link that comes my way, especially if it’s coming from a stranger.  But let’s go on the assumption that people doing this spamming are just jerks who want to screw with the world.  I get boatloads of spam comments on my blog here.  Most of them are filled with links to porn sites and other sites, but so many have a “sentence” before the link that makes no sense.  They have this string of nonsensical words and then a link of some kind.  Here are some of my favorite recent examples:

• unpapered pantisocratic maximate perdu papaprelatical heteroecism monoclinous unmighty
• datively squirelet sixpennyworth coletit pigdom northumber amomis ecotype
• masora inserter buckwasher perihelial unaccordance thamnophilinae rhinoceroslike teutonophobia
• I can find the prayer I want. I thank God for this website.
• yo…     disagree…
• encephaloscope hesperid vediovis yapping halcyonine kusan retromaxillary birkremite
• Magnificent collection of prayers - and I haven\’t begun to explore the rest of the website!u
• The site\’\’s very professional! Keep up the good work! Oh yes, one extra comment - maybe you could add more pictures too! So, good luck to your team!
• Interesting web page is, i\’ll see you later one more timeo

These kill me.   I’ll see you later one more time?  Rhinoceroslike?  Unpapered?  I bolded my favorite words amongst these.   I always delete these messages, but they’re just so funny and baffling I had to paste them in here.  Collection of prayers?  Curious that the spammers have determined my blog is in any way religious.

Frankly, I’m just overwhelmed with disbelief at the sheer volume of spam comments I get and I’d like know what’s up with this colossal waste/waster of time that is spam.

It seems to me that if you choose invisibility as your super power you’re probably a paranoid person. Or perhaps you just want to play the voyeur. Maybe you’re antisocial and would prefer no one see you. No matter what, I can’t help but think something’s wrong with you.

There are so many interesting super powers to choose from. Your power could be one you made up, like the ability to have a grilled cheese sandwich appear out of thin air at will. To travel in time. To be able re-seed an acre of deforestation with the sweep of a hand. To snap your fingers and have your entire house clean and tidy. To be able to skillfully play any instrument in existence.

If I had to choose a super power it’d be flight. No question.

What would you choose?

When they opened the door at the back of the plane, I put on my goggles and Scuba reminded me of our sequence.  Hands on chest straps, head back against his shoulder, jump, push the bush and kick back, shoulder tap then open arms.  I was ready.  I turned and looked at Tony whose face was lit up like a 10 year old opening the birthday present he’d hoped for so badly and he said, “We going to jump out of a fucking airplane!!!”

The cabin quickly emptied out and I hardly noticed others leaving.  Suddenly I was being pushed along to the end of the bench for my turn.  Terri went right before me and I got the privilege of seeing her go.  The look of absolute horror on her face was astounding.  It said, “This can’t be right, this isn’t what I meant to do.  What could I possibly have been thinking?!”  But there was no turning back.  And I knew my face would tell a very different story because I was pumped!!

We stepped to the doorway, Scuba pushed my forehead back and we jumped.  Surprisingly I remembered everything I was supposed to do and suddenly we were in our free fall.  There wasn’t what I’d call a disconnect happening in my brain, but this was so far from anything I’d ever experienced that I don’t think I was able to fully process it.   I was there, body and mind, but it was rather surreal.  The only complaint I had was I wished he’d told me I wouldn’t be able to breathe.  Since the free fall is only one minute in duration, I told myself it was a minor inconvenience.  Clearly it was breathtaking and definitely exhilarating.

They’d said it’d be cold up there and they were right - it was frigid.  Falling at a speed of 120mph  didn’t help, either.  We fell through some clouds, which I loved, and they were just like long cold mists.  I must have been able to breathe at some point because I remember screaming and screaming “WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  OH MY GOD!!!  WOOOOOOO!!!!  WOOOOOOOO!!!”

Soon enough it was time to open the parachute and just like in the movies the resistance from the chute yanked us back up a couple yards.   I couldn’t stop yelling, “That was AWESOME!!! That was AWESOME!!!“  as we floated.  At this pace I was able to take in the scenery and appreciate the earth from above.  It reminded me a bit of the hot air balloon ride I went on a few years ago except no basket.  Then we did some spinning first clockwise then counterclockwise and fastfastfast.  Who knew something could be so serene yet so exciting?

Scuba did more tricks and fun stuff in the 6-7 minutes we had in the air and then we prepared for landing.  I lifted up my knees and put my legs out in front of me as we neared the ground.  Our landing was smooth and easy - no real bumps and jerks, just a soft glide down, a little bounce on the butt and we were back on earth in one piece.  Each.

We all found each other at the hangar where they keep the gear and parachutes and Tony and I had full-on perma-grin.  It was like the best amusement park ride ever.  I knew right away I wanted to do it again.   Tony and I decided then and there that eventually we’d take the class to get certified so we can jump on our own.  Sadly, Terri really was frightened and didn’t have the same thrilling experience we did.  But she is glad she did it.  I was feeling badly about it until I realized none of us knew quite what to expect, so how could I be responsible?  It was my idea, yes, but beyond that, it was out of my hands.  It’s strange how naturally and easily guilt comes upon me.  And I’m not even Catholic.  I’m not religious at all.

After we each phoned our sweeties we drove back to Boston.  We picked up Leslie and Sean and went to dbar for dinner and drinks.  Chris couldn’t come because he was playing on the Vineyard, as usual.  The food was superb (I had a delicious dish of scallops on risotto and, of course, wine) and the company delightful.  Terri and Leslie gave me a ride home.  It was a gorgeous evening and I wanted dessert (duh) so we got ice cream at JP Licks and strolled through Davis.  A glorious ending to an utterly insanely awesomely fantastic day.

Mel and I always used to quote the old commercial for the ice cream Frusen Gladje, saying “Honey, I ate all the Frusen Gladje.  …. And I’d do it again.”  Now I say “Honey, I jumped out of an airplane.  And I’d do it again.”  And as Scuba likes to say, “drive fast and take chances!”