Archive for September, 2010

cancer lite

Strange, but I feel like I had cancer lite, or maybe The Little C.  Yes, I was in serious pain.  Yes, I had emergency surgery and had a cancerous tumor removed from my colon.   Yes, the tumor was so bad it involved my left ovary and left fallopian tube so they were removed as well.   Yes, they took out 19 lymph nodes, all of which were cancerous.  Yes, I had six months of chemotherapy.  Cancer lite, why would I feel that way?

I blame pop culture in general.  I’ve read (or heard, I can’t remember which.  It was either The Week or NPR) that romantic comedies are ruining people’s expectations about love and finding a soul mate.  I’m finding something similar with cancer and realize I didn’t follow the script.

In fiction, people with cancer or some life-threatening disease usually have an epiphany of some kind.  Something in their behavior then changes radically and they live a richer life because their illness, whether they “conquer” it or not.  I had no such epiphanies.  I had no “awakening.”  I didn’t seek out alternative treatment methods. I barely got nauseous.  I did lose my appetite and considered marijuana, but never did it.

I didn’t have the hair loss associated with most chemo.  Granted my hair didn’t grow during those 6 months, but it didn’t fall out.  That coupled with little weight loss made me appear not sick.  And I didn’t act like I was sick, mostly.  Did I not take it all seriously enough? As far as I know it never metastasized, so it was under Stage 4 (no one referred to my cancer in terms of stages, or if they did, I don’t remember it, thank you chemo-related short-term memory loss).   I mean, I know it could come back at any time considering it was like a bolt out of the blue to begin with, but … but so what.  Is it just me?

this i believe

NPR has a series of essays called “This I Believe” that stem from a radio show hosted by Edward R. Murrow back in the 1950’s.  People from all walks of life have written essays over the years and I even have a book compilation of essays.  I love the one by Penn Gillette.

Much as I’d love to compose an essay of my own I’m too all over the place.  I’ve had more than a few thoughts on what I Believe but I must insist on skewing it and putting my thoughts in list form.  Since these beliefs have been occurring to me randomly, and often without warning, I’d like to make this a recurring entry.

  • I believe dry cleaning is a scam.
  • I believe footnotes should be at the bottom of the page, not at the back of the book.
  • I believe marijuana should be legal.
  • I believe that communication failures are the root of most problems.
  • I believe sugar should be a controlled substance.
  • I believe the world is overpopulated.  (And I believe that’s an understatement.)
  • I (finally) believe in the power of exercise and sleep.
  • I believe the Beatles are the best band that ever were.

ahead of the curve

I love “discovering” things.  I’m one of those annoying people who like to be the first to try something, buy something, whatever-it-is before it gets big.  In high school and college it was mostly about music and being on the cutting edge.  I was the first person I knew to get into The Sundays in college.  And I may still be one of a very few Americans who love the band Japan.  I love knowing about shows early on and watching from the beginning; I remember reading about Family Ties in TV Guide (my parents had a subscription and I read it cover to cover) and asking if we could end dinner a little early so I could watch the pilot episode.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, dork.  And TV addict.

Here are a few other things I feel I was really ahead on:

  • Netflix - I was down with Netflix in the early days.  This was in 1999 before they perfected the system as a subscription movie rental thing.  Yes, really, that far back.  Todd and I had just moved in together and I distinctly remember running outside to pop the movie in the postbox on Comm. Ave. before the mail pickup.  They’ve come a long, long way, baby.  I heart Netflix.
  • Kate Spade - I bought my first Kate Spade bag at Jasmine Sola in Harvard Square believing I’d finally found the perfect black bag - not unlike the perfect little black dress.  my first kate spade bagThe year of this purchase had become hazy in my mind; all I knew was it was a while ago now.  Enter Johanna, my friend and stylist.  She remembered when JS got Kate Spade because she knows the buyer and it was the first store outside fashion-forward New York City to sell Kate Spade bags.  The year was 1998 - that’s right, a full twelve years ago.    Here’s a website shot of the Claire, my first KS bag.  I still have it, I still use it. Classy doesn’t go out of style.
  • Target - luck of geography, really.  I’ve had “Tar-szhay’” in my life since 1982.  Mom would drive me there to get my new Trapper Keepers, pencil holders,  and other back-to-school supplies for 7th grade.  It was in Lion’s Head in Nashville/Belle Meade and actually, it still is.  I think it’s great how cool Target has become after a seeming slump of about 10 years.  My problem is that I can easily (EASILY) spend two hours just wandering around and then spend spend spend all my money.  My friend Greenwald has a certain amount she says she always ends up spending without fail.
  • Jo Malone perfumes - I love perfume.  You know this.  So when I read an article about Jo Malone’s linfrench lime blossome of fragrances coming to the US and sold exclusively at Saks Fifth Avenue I ran over there immediately.  And I sniffed.  And I fell in love.  JM’s line of perfumes are made to be mixed together to create unique (somewhat) fragrances and she puts out approximately two new scents each year.  It’s fun to mix them and I’ve discovered many concoctions I wear for different seasons and occasions, but the first one I fell in love with, French Lime Blossom, is still my go-to perfume and has been for 10 years now. And the packaging is so classy!
  • The last thing I know I was ahead of the curve on is my photobooth addiction.  I’ve been lurking around those for 22 years and still love them, especially the Japanese ones where they put you in different Sanrio-type scenes and print out as stickers.  Mac designed their Photo Booth program with me in mind, I swear, because they even have that Warhol effect.  The movie Amelie spoke to me in ways many may not have heard.  I’m desperately jealous of the weddings where I hear the couple rented a photobooth.  I wish I had one in my apartment - the Mac thing isn’t quite enough.  But it’s nice to have, I will say that.  Case in point.

editor editing editsMoi editing blog entry.

Well, ok, I guess this will have to do.

who’s the hammy ham ham?